I am not going to write about the many definitions or clichés associated with jumping off a cliff. There are many websites that do a fabulous job of providing motivational ideas and phrases for people with Multiple Sclerosis. However, yesterday I did jump off a cliff into a quarry filled with beautiful cool water. It took me a little while to summon up the courage to do it. I stared across at all the young divers jumping off with seemingly no concerns for personal safety. My mind kept repeating phrases like “I can’t”, or “what if I injure myself”, or worst case “what if I lose my bathing suit!” I eventually felt the positive outweighed the negative and then I let go and jumped. It’s not a very high cliff, just long enough to feel like you are briefly holding in midair.
The last time I did this jump was at this exact location. I was 19 years old at the time. I was young, healthy, and had my life plans expanding in front of me. Fast forward to 45, I now have a progressive chronic illness that has impacted every corner of my life. Somedays it feels as though my life has gone into the “upside down” (thanks Stranger Things on Netflix). Every day, is a different day. Some symptoms may be more pronounced, some less so, all with the predictability of the weather.
There is no great life altering message here. I am not promoting everyone jump off a cliff. However, sometimes you just want to do it. It’s important to remember to play and say that “I can try” and minimize your regret list.
I may have more wrinkles and worries now but, it was sure fun pretending I was 19 again. Take a chance on a new adventure, it may turn out better than you thought.
By Michelle Tyler, PT
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